she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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