I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
