pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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