Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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