I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
