and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You made out with two different species that night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
