She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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