Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
