Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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