I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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