Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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