I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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