Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
