I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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