Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
