we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
