I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
