i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
