weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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