he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So much rum. So many feels.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
