Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
