...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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