these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
