What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
