That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
