Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
