i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
