I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
