i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
