tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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