Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
