i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
