i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
