Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
