i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
