Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Come on in and take your pants off
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