Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
