Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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