You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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