So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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