is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
