i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
