the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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