In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
