Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
