I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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