its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
