She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
