This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
