I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
