i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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