U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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